about saying goodbye

1. i am tired and want to junk up adrian's blog even more than i have already done.
2. today is my last day at work. goodbye is difficult, and tense, and sad, and happy.
3. refer point 1. above and assist me. http://thevelvetwiggle.livejournal.com.
4. refer point 2. i ought seek divine intervention.
5. refer points 1 and 3. d'you reckon i can make him angry with 5-7 more posts? or will it merely make him feel loved?
6. refer points 2 and 4. am i allowed to seek divine intervention from any deity i choose? does buddha provide divine intervention? is buddha a deity? he's sitting right here. he'd know how to give a proper farewell.

is there a way to get sleep without actually sleeping?

seriously. the coffee's not working anymore.

about caffeine

This is caffeine. I like caffeine. I like that it is bitter and mildly addictive.

It makes "I" go after "E". Official grammar pundits say it's "I" before "E" except after "C". Does the beginning "C" in caffeine count as "after"? An argument could be made that the rule doesn't say "immediately after", so maybe it does. However, I don't think that it's in caffeine's nature to be bound by the rules of da man, and i say that it's grammatically incorrect.

Today I have had a regular skinny cafe mocha with an extra shot($4.20), and I am about to go down to 7/11 and purchase 2x Red Bulls ($4.00). Over the course of a working year of 48 weeks this is $1,968.00 spent on my fix. At face value this would seem to be less than the amount spent by a heroin addict, but my life expectancy is far longer, and averaged out over the course of our respective working lives, I think I ultimately spend more. This however is mere supposition, and if i were to take the step of objectively psychshrinking myself, I would adjudge it a naive attempt to make myself seem more alluring by virtue of being afflicted.

about addendums, and adrian

I meant to also ponder on the propensity of my subconscious to provide soundtrack music to my existence. But I forgot. So.

Seven days ago I couldn't stop humming the Kaiser Chiefs' "Every Day I Love You Less and Less". Six days ago, immediately prior to giving notice, I couldn't stop mouthing the words to "I Predict A Riot". I may have simultaneously broken several items of cheap stationery. This did not bother me.

However, i am now somewhat melancholic and sombre, and cannot help but sing over and over to myself the refrain from The Frames' "Locusts", an album usefully left in my possession by Adrian. ("I'm moving on/I'm packing up etc etc more whiny cockless pitiful wailing") I am bothered by this. Is it my acquaintance with the song that makes me melancholic and sombre? Would I feel the same way if, say, my only musical reference point was Kylie's "I Should Be So Lucky" and Collette's "Ring My Bell"? Would I thusly be a perpetually happy ray of sunshine if I had never met Adrian? Would I be more productive but in possession of less stationery if I were humming to myself "I am an antichrist/I am an anarchist" instead of "I'm willing to be wrong"? What is the plural of "addendum"? Is it "addenda"? And why "addendum", anyway? Would not have the word "postscripts" sufficed? "Supplemental comments on previous posts"?

I am tired and I fear I will not make sense for a few days yet. I am also an optimist. I also miss Adrian. I also think I like The Frames but I am not sure, because Adrian told me to listen to them.

about corridors and about spare rooms, again

I gave three week's notice of my resignation six days ago. There are eleven business days left. The corridors now seem exceptionally long, and remarkably narrow.

Once again, the spare room provides reprieve. From here, my colleagues are little more than cardboard cut-outs, appearing as they appeared to me at the very beginning of the novel, fabricated only for the purpose of elucidating some dramatic proposition.

I will have to leave the spare room soon. Hopefully there will be spare rooms at my new place of employment.

would my life be more interesting if it were illustrated?

the answer is "no".